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Saturday, October 2
love him for who he is.
Sounds so wow.. and yes I should be able to do it!
but truth says i hell cnt do it..
he swims wif her every other day.
was fine.
he pei her when she's down. till wee hours.
was fine.
he's worried and wanted me to act as her family to get her outta her disastrous job.
was fine.
he told her about me not wearing skirt. and ask her to bring me out for shopping.
was not fine.
everything repeats itself again week after weeks.
was not fine.
he's worried that she's at the void deck herself.
was not fine.
he asks her to be safe when he cant be there.
was not fine.
he clean her skates for hours.
was not fine.
he sent her home.
was fine.
he hugged her goodbye.
was NOT fine.
he placed his hand on her back.
was NOT fine.
he still meet her every other day when we only meet once, sometimes not even once a week.
was NOT fine.
he and she stayed at his house, his room more frequent than me, even more overnights than me.
was NOTNOT fine. regardless existence of any other people.
he says he can kiss her if he wants to.
was NOT fine.
she skates, and now she can swim (cos of him)
was not fine anymore.
he will be there for her whenever that someone is not there for her.
was not fine.
I cant believe im still trying to accept it.
i tot i succeed in convincing myself the other night.
that there were only strong friendship and no love/romance elements.
had he ever tot of my feelings?
yes, only mention to cut down the frequency. only mention.
i dont get what i ask from him. even just a simple eraser.
why is he so extreme?
sweet and sensitive.
cold and insensitive.
im tired. but i din slp. unable to let myself slp.
he assume i have slpt and say nights.
i have not replied.
nor have he confirmed it.
is this how he will fix things all his life?
i can marry him when he's so sincere to me.
i can break off in split second when he starts those again.
what shd i do?
mayb i was looking for a wild person.
mayb i was looking for a honest person.
mayb i was looking for a sweet and considerate person.
mayb i was looking for someone who cares for others.
mayb i was looking for someone who put me as his priority.
mayb i was looking for all-in-one.
we dun hav good timings at times.
say about fake smiley face. most of e smiley face i gave to u is to give in. but i wasnt smiling. do u noe? or do u even care?
everyone only sees u as a good catch. someone who treats me well.
no. i dont want a guy who tag along all e time and ask for my decision.
where's the heart who understand my needs and give me the best?
if say we cant change a person, do we select another person?
yet i still want him so much.. ..
if only i can be as insensitive as him.. and as non-expressive.. and make all the blunders and still din realise it.. mayb we will be happy forever...
alright.. tis post is written in a v v v v vv bad mood. nvm abt all..
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