Missing you-

hey bloggy..
right this second, im surprised that im here again.

Am I going back to my normal self?
that me who shares all my thoughts and everything with you, doesnt matter if any being is reading?
ya know, its always where you can just continue all day and night talking everything about yourself, and you know it will still be there, listening, without any complains, any messages-pop-up, any schedule but you. =D

the lens, right! it fits great! as my first pair! yes, it is not obvious as my family none found out yet! probably we have not gone out together for them to realise it under the sun. So i guess you know how well it blends in ! it does make my eyes slightly bigger and more define.
It would be near to perfect if I give points based on my way of life - "being natural".. probably I will try something bolder next time~
but it is soo dry to my eyes on the second day! I dont know did i cleanse it the correct way or was it soaked well enough, but it just make me feel uncomfortable less than 10 hrs, and even within an hr on the third day (today). hopefully it wouldnt cause any side effect.

I participated in a run yesterday for the first time in my life! no training, no anticipation, no excitement except when i was thinking that i will be using my new running shoes to run! had initially going to sign up for the 12km run, however slots were out for xgg's men 12km category. therefore I turn to the shorter 4.6km run. While bathing earlier on, I was thinking, could there be a chance that xgg done it intentionally?

It was yesterday, I see how bad the outcome would be if I had taken part in 12km. 1km or so through the route, I would be panting like hell, and jogged amusingly slow. Probably peiyi and oli will have to slow down every now and then to wait for me.. I would then be asking them to move on without me.. Perhaps they wont for the first 4km.. then they will head off cos its just overly slow.. and impossible for them to complete their target of completing the race within 2 hrs.. xgg would have been nowhere in sight even before our run.. that time, I would be dying for some mp3 for myself, whether for comfort or for companion, yes I would.. feeling everyone passing by me, everyone whom I think might have done worse.. yet I would still be trying hard to motivate my forever-so-weak legs to move faster.. therefore a mp3 to shut myself to myself would be ideal.. maybe till I am almost recovered I would run again..

Half way through, I would have seen no more shadows around, perhaps a few whom were there for morning jog/walk.. that point of time, I might be thinking of just changing my route to the exit of the trail, take a seat at the hut, pouting my lips while still trying to motivate my own mood.. which probably wont succeed especially after seeing them back, giving me a very surprise face asking why I came back and not complete the run.. ..

MAYBE i could still push myself to continue the run to the last round 4.6 route, but I really dont know how to imagine myself to seeing any Salomon runners there, be it 4.6 or 12km runner. Mascots probably have alot of time to cheer just for me, while I gave them a mere smile and look back at my own route.. hoping xgg dont come back to look at my pathetic state.. yet.. . I think I needed him.. I feel like crying now.. I dont know what I can do to reverse or change anything.. I jogged.. tears flow.. no one to see anyway.. should I take out the bib so they thought I am some other runner and not give comment? I think I would prefer xgg to bring me a sack to hide my face while they cheered (for sure) for me while I jogged/dragged myself past that finish line.. .. ..

My lips would be at very down moon-like position for the remaining time, the 3 probably still continuing chatting among themselves about the different amusing runners.. awkward a bit here and there.. xgg could also be thinking he shouldnt have brought me out.. that nothing they say would cheer me up.. ohhhhh that will be such a disastrous!!!! =XXXX

So xgg foresee everything, knowing that I hell cant challenge that run, and hell I wont run myself, and hell I wont let him accompany me when I know he very much very much prefer to run 12km.. .. I would probably stay at home myself.. thinking about their run and all that they are experiencing..

so that is why he kept the truth and run 4.6 with me..

Alright, but from my understanding, xgg wouldnt go to this extent for me yet.. .. ... so, really glad things turn out this way.. the only pity is xgg not being able to have the full run.. =(
but glad i completed the 4.6km, jogging non-stop for the last stretch! =D
so shant care about the disgraceful walking and panting during the run.. hee=x

wow.. this is long post..

Currently, I feel my life very empty. I want to fill something up in my life. shall see what I can do for that. =)

daisy blogged @ 11:14 PM