despite my previous rantings, i was actually feeling bliss.

Although that chalet I almost chose to flight again, he spent quite sometime to help me understand the situation and how I can deal with it.

I dont feel that I am being ignored this time round with them, and I gave myself a try to open up more to them.

Peiyi also seem to have accepted me and included me in their fun, I enjoyed and laughed even though my facial expressions have been numb too long to laugh naturally. I even feel myself's back to insist in sending her home too! =]]

He was very quiet with me alone, probably cos he was too caught up with his messages through out that night and the day after. Did feel lonely, but he held me beside him which made me feel much better.

During the lunch, I feel myself closer to him as he actually shared some stories about his mom with me. He also filled me up with whats happening thats causing all the flood of messages. Maybe due to that (feeling included and informed), I am stronger in waiting for his non-stop messages and until what feels so long, I managed to put my thoughts across to him, peacefully.

Fascinatingly, that short period after, we could seem to joke around and never seem to have any negative emotions among us. yes, both of us. He would share stuffs with me, encourage me, cheer me up when I am upset. Even if i am alittle upset with him. Thats new~

told my friend we are doing amazingly well now~..

I shared the video to him, finally. I almost got negative about my anticipation of his "non-appreciative". He somehow made me stronger and led him to the link. He wasnt cold knowing about the video afterall! ^^ p/s i didnt purposely choose the photos cos of ur hair ar! =p

YTD i let my pek-cek ness run again.. cos he invited me for a game with peiyi.. I wasnt that into it at this point of time when I am trying to study..

Games, though said to entertain oneself, can be referred to bonding session too. I wasnt sure about myself trying to bond right now, perhaps it feel more like going for the sake of him. Nothing negative about peiyi or anyone, definitely. but just feel pek cek at this point of time, just like how my mom would ask me go here and there, during my study period. I would "say" her too..

But he seem to be quite upset with me.. and turned cold.. I feel really difficult to hold him now.. Once he's upset, theres nothing i can do, or nothing he will do at the moment..

I dont like this kind of cold punishment, you know cold = no feeling..

Amazing for a moment, and the next moment, helpless.

I could never bring him back to how he used to like me, could I?

I wish I could know more of whats going through his mind and all..

If only just any one of us could have no temper.. =x

*I have no control over him now, guess I am losing him...*